


The Super Incredible (And Fashionable) Pitch-Perfect Vs. The Dastardly Dr. Rat

by Helloiamsilver



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), The Incredibles (2004)
Genre: Crack, Crossover, M/M, Superheroes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-05
Updated: 2011-09-05
Packaged: 2017-10-23 10:37:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/249368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Helloiamsilver/pseuds/Helloiamsilver
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A new villain is in town by the name of Dr.Rat. Pitch-Perfect is the best superhero for the job. And he knows EXACTLY how to get Dr. Rat to cooperate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Super Incredible (And Fashionable) Pitch-Perfect Vs. The Dastardly Dr. Rat

**Author's Note:**

> Incredibles Crossover!

“Oh Edna! It’s absolutely peeerfect!” Adam looked through the glass display the latest re-design for his super suit.  
“Well, you know darling! Only perfect for my lovely Pitch-Perfect!” The tiny, bespectacled woman spoke quickly and waved a hand dismissively, even though it was obvious she was proud of her work.  
“Edna, I know I’ve told you to call me Adam…” the superhero chided her fondly, “This suit really is spectacular honey. You’ve outdone yourself,” Adam’s eyes raked up and down the mannequin. Shiny, tight and black with crisscrossing white straps, highlighted every now and then with sparkles, leading down to sewn in fingerless gloves. His superhero mask was a beautiful array of dark blue-green feathers and lace, seemingly delicate but solid as steel. And for the finishing touch, his insignia of an eye of Horus cleverly combined with the letter “P” burnished in silver right on the suit’s chest. It was gorgeous.  
Also, inside of the chest was a built in amplifier, perfectly incorporated into the fabric. It made his super-voice just that much more powerful. What’s a super suit without a little techno? He sighed in rapture at the glorious suit.  
“Are you sure there isn’t ANY way you could add a cape?” Adam asked, in a mournful voice, knowing that there was no chance. This argument had been going on between him and Edna Mode for years.  
“NO CAPES!” She snapped and Adam let the subject drop before she went into her rant of the dangerous reasons why not. Yes, Adam knew function had to come first in a super suit, but a cape would be SO cool…Never mind that. The suit was still missing something much more important. His ten inch, sparkly, rocket-powered-  
“Edna, where are my boots?”  
“Boots? Who said anything about boots? Why can’t you use your old ones darling?”  
“My… OLD boots?” Adam’s eyes grew tragic. You mean he didn’t get new boots? His lower lip quivered a little.  
“Oh, of COURSE I have your boots darling! Pull yourself together! What kind of superhero are you!? Drama queen!” She smacked him over the shoulder with a long ruler before disappearing inside of a cabinet. She emerged moments later with a pair of beautiful black boots almost as tall as she was. She held them up dramatically above her head. Adam’s eyes grew wide in wonder. They were EXACTLY what he requested. Black, platform, sparkly, knee-high…beautiful…He slowly approached them slowly, as if frightened they would disappear.  
“Oh Edna…” He grabbed the boots and clutched them close to his chest, twirling in a little circle, “Perfect!” She laughed, good-natured.  
“Well, of course they are darling. You know you’re the only one I take requests from!”  
“With good reason! I know there are SOME supers I would cringe for if they designed their own wardrobes!” The conversation was interrupted by a loud beeping noise coming from Adam’s pocket.  
“Pitch-Perfect! Come in Pitch-Perfect!” The official voice echoed loud from his locater.  
“Yes, sir? This is Pitch?” He held the device up with his shoulder as he gathered his things.  
“We need you down at HQ pronto. We have an important assignment for you,”  
“All right. I’ll be right there!” He hung up quickly.  
“I’m sorry E, I gotta cut this short. You know, superhero duty and all that,”  
“Of course dear. But one thing first,” She pressed a button on the wall and the glass case slid down in front of the suit, “You should probably put that on darling,”  
\--  
“Good afternoon Pitch-Perfect. I’m glad you could make it here on such short notice,” The government official rustled through a stack of papers as he looked for the assignment description.  
“Well, I do have a responsibility to my people,”  
“Yes of course we all do-” He finally looked up to see Adam, “Nice suit…” he said, appreciative.  
“Thanks! Edna’s a genius,” Pitch-Perfect (Adam) smiled brightly.  
“Yes, well back to the assignment. We have ascertained knowledge about certain villainous activity happening in the area that we feel you would be adept at handling,”  
Pitch sat back in his chair and crossed his legs, displaying the glorious boots.  
“Give me the scoop,”  
“We believe he goes by the name ‘Dr. Rat’. Apparently he has been creating armies of horror movie creatures. Sightings of them have been spotted all across California. We have already dispatched several teams of supers to fight off the creatures, but we need you to take care of Dr. Rat himself,” The official pieced through the papers more until he unveiled a computer tablet. He set it on the table in front of Pitch and scrolled through several maps, ending on one of Southern California. “We believe him to be in an underground lair located roughly around…here!” He pointed to a spot on the map and it zoomed in to show what looked to be a dark, abandoned hotel.  
“I see the horror theme goes beyond his creations…” Pitch-Perfect muttered as he looked over the image, “Ok, well then I guess I better be off then,”  
“Wait. Don’t you need some form of transportation?” Pitch just smirked, flicked the switch on the side of his boots, and flew out the window.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“So…I see the super agency has finally seen need to send someone after me,” Tommy, AKA Dr. Rat announced without looking up. He was lounging sideways on his throne, a massive ornate black chair, with his legs crossed and filing his nails. He would not be bothered to give attention to whatever self-righteous super they had sent to take him down. His Freddy Krueger army had already sent three of them to the hospital and his Draculas were on their way to sending one of them to the grave. He had no doubts he could handle this one. Although…He HAD already gotten past his initial defenses AND the Carpenters…Maybe he had a little more spunk.  
“I am not just ‘someone’!” He spoke up indignantly, proving Tommy’s hypothesis right, “I, am Pitch-Perfect!” He announced, placing his hands on his hips and posing. Tommy got up to sit straight up in the chair and look down the staircase at the foot of his chair to view his new enemy head on. He just barely kept his mouth from falling open and making a VERY undignified noise for a supervillain. Or anyone.  
But he was just so, SO gorgeous! He was tall and broad, made taller by his platform boots and his suit was black, shiny and tight. Very tight. Tight enough to emphasize his long legs and ALL of his assets. He had thick black hair, full lips and behind his elaborate mask, Tommy could see a pair of sparkling blue eyes. He even had freckles! What kind of superhero had freckles!? They could be seen even in the flickering candle lights of his dungeon lair! Tommy believed he could be forgiven for being a little awestruck for a moment. He quickly composed himself and put an appropriate sneer on his face, working up an appropriate intimidation speech.  
“Well, I’VE never heard of you…” Tommy was sure he would remember someone that beautiful, “You can’t be THAT important of a super…Were you just sent here as a warm-up before they could send in the big guns? I mean,” Tommy laughed, “You’re no Mr. Incredible…” He watched as the man who called himself ‘Pitch-Perfect’s jaw fell open in outrage. Tommy cackled, “Now, HE I would be afraid of…”  
Adam narrowed his eyes.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“How dare you!? I was voted Most Popular Super of 2011! AND Best Dressed! Let’s see Mr. Incredible win that one!” Dr. Rat just snorted. Seriously, How DARE he!?  
It had already been a bitch to get here! Making his way through the zombies meandering in front of the hotel, taking the terrifying, creaky elevator all the way down to the underground lair , and fighting the evil pair who called themselves the Carpenters…He had NOT done all that just to get told off by some little snotty villain! No matter how cute he may be! Yes, Adam admitted that the little ingrate was fucking adorable. That’s beside the point.  
Unfortunately…to do all that stuff to get down here, he had worn out his voice. It would take at least ten minutes to recharge and Rat had plenty of time to call for back-up during that period. Adam’s only hope was keep him distracted until his voice was back to top power.  
“I mean, you yourself could use a little help in the clothing department…” Adam inspected his nails and gave Rat’s outfit a once-over. He watched as the small man immediately began inspecting himself, nervously.  
“What’s wrong with my clothes?” He demanded. Adam took in a hissing breath.  
“Honey…Didn’t you know capes are SO last year?” Personally, Adam thought Tommy pulled off his big black bat cape well but he wasn’t gonna say that, “And I mean, all black? Really? Could you BE more stereotypical?” Adam could get away with black. He was a hero, it was unique. Batman totally didn’t count. He didn’t even have powers! Anyway…He was getting sidetracked. Back to Dr. Rat. Oh yes, Adam was only getting started, “And fluffy blond hair? It doesn’t really scream ‘intimidating’ you know? Neither is the red lipstick. You look way more like a pixie than a villain if you really wanna know…” Adam watched amused as Rat’s hand frantically went to everything he mentioned, his eyes wide and nervous.  
“And those Ri-DIC-ulous tall creeper shoes..!”  
“You’re calling MY shoes ridiculous!?” Rat finally interrupted him, “Look at those things you’re wearing!!” Adam’s mouth fell open. Oh, HELL no…He did not just diss the boots.  
“Hey! These are an Edna Mode original bitch! What are yours? Hot Topic?” He asked scathingly. Rat’s jaw dropped and he narrowed his eyes.  
“Why are we even discussing this!? I should have had you killed the moment you stepped in here!” Adam looked around the empty dungeon.  
“And how exactly would you do that? I could overpower you without even using my powers!” Tommy smirked and dramatically held up a remote control.  
“With one click of this button, this entire room will fill with everything from your worst nightmares!” His finger hovered threateningly over the button, but Adam just smiled. It had been ten minutes. He was all recharged.  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Tommy watched as he was just about to hit the button, Pitch-Perfect opened his mouth and sang out the most epic, echoing, powerful, wailing glory note he had ever heard in his life. It was beautiful, but so intense. Tommy would almost call it screaming, but it was too melodious for that. No, it was most definitely singing. He found himself enraptured by the voice. He felt frozen, compelled to stare down at its source. The gorgeous man with his eyes shut and mouth wide open and the hint of a tongue sticking out between his teeth.  
The longer Tommy stared, the more he realized he WAS frozen. He couldn’t move. His finger was stuck hovering over the button and his body was stuck faced towards Pitch-Perfect. He could see why he was called that now. Even when Pitch stopped singing, Tommy was still stuck, hypnotized and frozen by the note that he could still hear reverberating inside his brain. He was forced to stand still as the superhero bent over to flick a switch on his boots and jet himself up to where Tommy’s chair was located. He had to stand and watch as he bent over to meet Tommy’s eye-level.  
“Hmm…It is a shame. You really are SO adorable…” Pitch clucked his tongue and shook his head. He bent even closer to whisper directly into Tommy’s ear.  
“If you weren’t a villain, you have NO idea of the things I would do to you…” Despite his frozen state, Tommy could feel parts of his body beginning to get excited in response to Pitch-Perfect’s words. Tommy frantically flicked his eyes around as the super’s face disappeared to the side of his head. He could feel a shiver run deep under his skin as Pitch slowly trailed his tongue up the side of Tommy’s neck and around his ear,  
“Forgive me; you’re just so irresistible like this. I could do anything I want to you,” He whispered softly into Tommy’s ear as he planted a kiss on the line of his jaw, “Unfortunately, that would make ME the villain in this situation and not you….” He turned his face back into Tommy’s line of sight. Tommy could see the slight smirk on his face and the dark hunger in his eyes. He had no doubt the tall man could see it mirrored in Tommy’s.  
“So…What do we do here eh? If I unfreeze you, are you gonna press that button? Because then I would be forced to send you to prison and I’m warning you right now, I don’t sleep with criminals. However…” He trailed off and looked to be barely containing a grin, “If you were to NOT press that button and instead be a good little boy and tell me how to get rid of all your little creations, maybe we could have a little fun. And maybe just maybe...” He bent in close again. “I could let you go…” He breathed the words. He pulled back and looked directly into Tommy’s face.  
“So what’ll it be?” His ice-blue eyes met Tommy’s and just stared into them for a long while. Tommy tried desperately to convey all the sheer want he was feeling solely through his eyes. He wanted to have a little fun. He wanted to be let go. Sure, causing mayhem was fun, but with the way this man was looking at him right now, Tommy didn’t CARE. He would give it up just for a taste of those freckled lips. Pitch-Perfect finally let out a smile, “Oh yeah…you’re not gonna hurt me,” Tommy felt as the other man ran his hands up and down Tommy’s back and let out a soft hum that seemed to work it’s way deep into his bones, unlocking where they were frozen into position. When finally he could feel that his entire body was free from the voice-entranced state, the first thing Tommy did was drop the remote and lurch up to meet Pitch-Perfect’s gorgeous lips. He tangled up his hands in that perfectly styled black hair let the superhero lead the way. He felt as a powerful tongue pushed its way into his mouth and inspected every inch of it before it began working together with Tommy’s own. With every brush of tongues, Tommy could feel a shiver rush through his body.  
“God…Pitch-Perfect…You ARE perfect…” Tommy muttered against his lips. The super chuckled.  
“You can call me Adam…”  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“C-call me Tommy!” Adam watched as the pretty blond man shouted out the words. It made Adam feel powerful to have transformed that cocky little villain into this beautiful wreck of a man. He continued kissing all along his neck before pulling back, ignoring Tommy’s whine. God, he was so cute. Hopefully he really would help Adam out and be a good boy. He wasn’t lying when he said he didn’t fuck criminals. One escapade with a possible villain/possible not villain didn’t count.  
“Is there somewhere a little bit more comfortable that we could do this?” Adam asked as he pushed up further into Tommy’s body, shoving him against the back of the chair and grinding their crotches together. As sexy as this whole set-up was, he didn’t think there was really enough room for both of them on this chair.  
However, Tommy proved him wrong as he hit a lever on the side of it and it lowered and spread itself out into a wide futon. Adam grinned. Perfect.  
He laid Tommy down and pressed his entire body against him. He grimaced as he realized that neither of their outfits lent themselves to quick removal. He sat back and looked critically at Tommy’s clothes and his own.  
“What? What are you waiting for?” Tommy asked between panting breaths.  
“Clothes...” Tommy rolled his eyes.  
“Shit! Just rip ‘em off!” Adam scoffed.  
“I am NOT destroying this suit! It’s brand new!”  
“Then your sweet ass better figure out how to get naked quick or I’m gonna do it for you!”  
Once Adam eventually figured out where all of the clasps and straps were on the suit and the proper way to undue them, he carefully folded it and laid it next to the boots. He had just made the decision to leave on his mask only to see that Tommy had in fact ripped his way out of his clothes and was now twisting in circles in an attempt to get off the cape. Now it was Adam’s turn to roll his eyes.  
“Just leave it on babe,”  
“I thought you said capes were last year..?”  
“I lied,” Adam smirked and let his eyes take in all of the naked pretty that was laid out before him. He let his lips go back to Tommy’s smeared red ones before trailing down his jaw and to his chest. His ears absorbed every delicious gasp and moan out of Tommy’s mouth. He lingered over some of the places where those gasps came the loudest, like his bellybutton and the jut of his hip. Finally, he made it to his hard length. Adam licked his lips slowly before lowering them onto Tommy’s cock. He sucked, licked and teased for a while before pulling off all of a sudden. Tommy let out an outraged noise before leaning up to meet Adam’s face.  
“Is that it?” Adam smiled, darkly and narrowed his eyes before leaning in to kiss him again.  
“Oh, I am only just getting started…”  
\--  
“So…That was amazing,” Tommy finally said as both of them stared up at the roof of the dungeon, the only clothing between them Tommy’s cape and Adam’s mask. Adam chuckled at Tommy’s declaration.  
“So…Is this enough to keep you away from villainy?”  
“Fuck villainy…” Tommy said with conviction. Adam cracked up.  
“Oh baby…I think I just did!”


End file.
